now

Last Thursday my grandmother passed away at the age of 92. I was able to be with her for the last 6 hours of her life. This was very lucky... but I realize now that I was probably only present 10 minutes of that 6 hours.  

My mind was on over-drive. I was in the past with memories, and worries, and fears. I was running through "would have", "should have", and "could have" until I had exhausted myself. 

My mind was in the future chasing the uncatchable "what if..."

It felt impossible and uncomfortable to stay in the present. There was security and comfort in the imaginary world of memories and fantasies and plans. It goes against the grain to stay present.

My grandmother left teaching me a wonderful lesson...

Come back to the present moment, not with effort, but with a light touch. Relax the struggle. It's like touching a bubble or blowing on a feather.