do what you can do

I loved reading Delia Ephron's new book, Sister Mother Husband Dog. It is a bittersweet collection of essays. 

The first essay, Losing Nora, is brilliant.

Delia describes the disorientation felt when someone you love is seriously sick...

All the various specialists come in, doing their dance. There are many ramifications of this treatment, potential disasters galore. Glitches happen every day, and we have no idea what the glitch is, what it even could be. It's not as if there is a sniper in the woods and everyone keeps their eyes on the trees, searching for a man with a gun. No one knows where the hell they should be looking or what the hell they should be looking for until something starts beeping. Or maybe there will be no beep and we don't know to expect one.

I felt a pervasive sense of helplessness. Of danger. Of responsibility. And a pervasive sense of guilt and unreality. How could she be sick and not me? 

In the essay Bakeries, the bit about 'having it all' really stuck with me...

To me, having it all - if one wants to define it at all - is the magical time when what you want and what you have match up.

Having it all are moments in life when you suspend judgement. It's when I attain that elusive thing called peace of mind. 

You should read this book. It's humorous and poignant. Delia Ephron illuminates the human condition in a way that helps us feel less alone.

And as she says,

"Our job as writers is to figure out what we can do. Only do what you can do. It's a rule I live by."